June 23rd, 2010
If you, of your own free will, buy a ticket to a movie’s 5th sequel or any film starring a former reality TV star, you won’t find any sympathy here. What’s unfair is when a movie is billed with high expectations and top end talent, yet still manages to waste an hour and a half of your life you will never get back. This countdown chronicles the biggest disappointments of the decade,worth avoiding at all costs.10. Two For the Money (2005) Matthew McConaughey, Al Pacino and Rene Russo headline what appeared to be a promising look inside the seedy world of sports gambling. The all-star cast conned many moviegoers into gambling 6.50 on a ticket and losing everything.9. From Justin to Kelly (2003) In hindsight, perhaps this shouldn’t qualify, as no one end their right mind should expect much from two never-acted-before semi-celebrities in a romantic comedy musical. Still, the build up from American Idol’s first season was enough to lure nave audiences to the theater.8. All About Steve (2009) How could a movie starring Sandra Bullock, fresh off her award winning performance in The Blind Side, and Bradley Cooper, who stole the summer comedy stage as part of The Hangover crew, be so awkwardly painful?7. Freddy Got Fingered (2001) Bare in mind, this was early in the decade, back when people still thought Tom Green was funny. Perhaps this was the turning point.6. Fred Claus (2007) This marked the first of two straight holiday seasons in which Vince Vaughn delivered proverbial coal. Though Four Christmases gets the slight edge, “marginally better than Fred Claus” isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement.5. The Love Guru (2008) Oh how the mighty have fallen. Mike Myers was once seen as a comedy guru of sorts, with successful Wayne’s World and Austin Powers series. The Love Guru left viewers wondering if Myers every really knew how to get a laugh.4. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) – Starring Eddie Murphy at a time when Eddie Murphy still had credibility (read: some time before Daddy Day Care), Pluto Nash reportedly cost of 100 million dollars to make. When the final figures were tallied, the film grossed under 8,000,000, probably still more than it deserved.3. Speed Racer (2008) Matthew Fox brought relevance with the acclaim of ABC’s hit show Lost, and Susan Sarandon has cemented her place in history, but this classic cartoon annihilation strayed far from its name, going absolutely nowhere fast.2. Gigli (2003) It’s fairly common for a film to bomb at the box office. Only a few films are epically bad enough to break up a marriage. Not only did Gigli spell a decline in the acting careers of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, it was a precursor to the couple’s split in 2004.1. The Happening (2008) – Give M. Night Shyamalayan credit for another ending no one saw coming only this time, it was just that no one stuck around for it.